Making simple adjustments within our physical environment can contribute immensely to psychoemotional wellness. There are various popular applications around the world that put this to practice, such as feng shui (Chinese: “wind and water”) and hygge (Danish: “hug”), but here I will illuminate a more introspective approach. It’s as simple as analyzing the story of whatever has brought you to a certain temperament.
Borrowing from Dr. Joe Dispenza, the more we pay attention to that which triggers strong emotions within us, the more we ingrain it in us and make it our state of being, affecting our reality. Below are some practical steps for resolution, inspired in part by Leslie Temple Thurston’s method of working with polarities.
Story, Analysis, Action.
1) Write Your Story. What has been troubling you so much that it has become a seemingly permanent fixture in your personal reality, something that keeps your mind away from the present moment, holding your body in a stress response? Write it down with as much emotion as possible, using plenty of adjectives about how it makes you feel. Do this now without yet reading further (as doing so can shape what you say and compromise this process). Set this website aside for just a few minutes while you do this. After you have written your emotive story, come back to this article.
2) Analyze Your Story. What we are going to do here is take a pen, highlighter, whatever you choose, and read through your story again, underlining or highlighting all words that are your emotions, and all key phrases that contribute to your emotions. Then, on another sheet of paper, write a list of these emotions. You can make tick marks to count the number of times that emotions repeat themselves. Look at synonyms and consider them all one-and-the-same in essence (if in fact they are). From this list, select one or two standout words that suffice to summarize your general emotive state. Lastly for analysis, select words that are opposite(s) of the one or two words that you just pinpointed as the general theme.
Thich Nhat Hanh suggested that if there is something in the self that we wish to remedy, we only need to cultivate the opposite. If we are depressed or sorrowful over the past, for instance, this can be most easily remedied by making adjustments in the home that will bring joy to our senses. We will see this unfold as we work on making adjustments to our physical environment.
3) Adjust Your Living Environment. Now, we go through the home looking for triggers, everything that triggers you toward those harmful or painful emotions. Trash them, donate them, or box them up temporarily as an experiment if they are difficult to part with. Once the triggering items have been removed, refer to your opposite emotion and ponder at least three ways to cultivate the opposite.
Example 1: If your emotion is grief because you suffer the loss of a loved one, consider cultivating joy through acknowledging that there will always be a connection between yourself and your loved one. A joyous action, then, could be to cook that person’s favorite meal perhaps once a week, or even just on their birthday and other special days. Allow that person to enjoy life through you, and realize joy in that. Another action would be to theme a room with the person’s favorite colors, textures, objects, and when you feel like you need a hug from that person, cozy up in this special space. Light a candle and communicate.
Example 2: Your partner has let you go because he/she fell for someone else. You are feeling worthless, inferior, empty. The obvious initial adjustment is to remove all reminders of this person. It might be difficult if you’re holding onto hope, but it’s an act of self-love and you deserve that. You focus on self-love and remembering your worth. Referring back to the cozy spot in Example 1, we now do this with the sole purpose of YOU relishing in all that represents you – as you are, and as you envision yourself journeying forward, healed and full of self-love. Another action would be to cultivate a new home activity that you are proud of: a hobby or ongoing DIY home-improvement. This will keep your mind away from the past and into the present moment, from which new possibilities unfold.
This is my process for diminishing long-term stressors and trading them in for psychoemotional wellness, which contributes to physical wellness. If you need some extra support and/or ideas, contact me and paste in your story from Step 1. I’d be happy to assist you as you untangle the knots that keep you bound to the past, and as you work with your home in such a way that you recognize it as a partner in your healing process.
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